I For One Welcome Our New Lagrange Overlords

I for one welcome the new secret plans of secret transnational entities to create a permanent and independent colonial presence in HEO or L4 within 5 years. In a few years the first private stuctures in space will be created – shortly after literally dozens of launches will take place. I know Alex Jones will be trying to warn us all to stop this. I do not! Instead I offer my “New World Order” consultancy services!

As it happens a permanent industrial colony in a HEO Or Lagrage orbit effectively rules Earth.

If an independent actor decides to establish industrial activity, only a few hundred people establishing the (any) infrastructure allowing them a permanent stay will also allow them to project force on the planetary surface and more or less shrug off any challenge from the planetary surface.


step 1
Create a massive iron ball. A meter of solid iron will do. Add propulsion system, lift the object in a high parabolic object. Then reverse thrusters and aim straight for earth at the place you are aiming to make impact. The impactor will be accelerated by both gravity and propulsion. Even a small projectile (which any halfway decent colony solar welders will be able to cobble up in days) will hit with enough energy to destroy a major city.

Once earth governments realizes the colony is building these things Earth will try to stop and retaliate. That is not a problem – just launch a few hundred! If Earth tries anything funny, program these things in meta-lunar orbits to plummet down on Earth. Sort of like an insurance.

Earth will, after any ultimatums are issues, seek to take steps. The only steps they can take are launches of nuclear weapons. Sadly for planetary surface dwellers it’s easy to laser any such launches from orbit. Just a few dozen powerful lasers are enough to pick off the nukes when they enter the higher atmosphere.

Issue threats, demands, negotiate with the UN. Issue policies and if flat-landers do not obey, rain down a few balls on select planetary targets. I have some suggestions for this stage.

Create crown for the “Emperor of Earth”. Hey it is an expensive investment, create a colony of this type, but the payback (owning the entirety of humanity) should be a nice pay-off.