Congratulations, dear reader. Your brain, that soft, wrinkled meat computer encased in bone, yesterdays hangover and bad decisions, is about to become obsolete. Not in a vague, science fiction “someday” way, but in a years-not-decades way. And let’s face it: for a significant percentage of the population—looking at you, Belgium and Alabama—it’s already happened. After decades of eating lead paint, binge-watching Jerry Springer, and keeping it all in the family (yes, I do mean cousin-marrying), a lot of brains out there are performing like a Windows 95 PC trying to stream Netflix.
This isn’t an insult—it’s a diagnosis. (Most) human brains are still relatively powerful in computational terms, but the clock is ticking. Fast. Artificial Intelligence doesn’t need to replicate everything about human cognition; it just needs to outperform the parts that matter to those in charge. And when that tipping point comes, do you really think the “Leopards Eating Faces” party (hi, Thiel, Musk, Trump, Bezos, Putin) will care about what happens to the rest of us?
Nature Designed You to Become Obsolete
Biology is ruthless, and nature didn’t give a damn about your existential dignity when it “designed” you. You, my friend, were built by an indifferent process of trial and error, a precarious assembly of neurons and instincts, meant only to survive long enough to reproduce and die. Nature doesn’t write warranties. There’s no after-sales service. The second a better tool comes along—whether it’s sharper rocks, machines, or algorithmic brains—you’re yesterday’s news.
Let’s be real: that better tool is almost here. AI systems are scaling faster than your uncle’s excuses at Thanksgiving, and they don’t need to rest, eat, or argue about conspiracy theories. They’ll crunch numbers, optimize logistics, and compose symphonies without requiring toilet breaks. Human brains? Slow, squishy, and full of emotional baggage. Give it a few years, and your so-called “special” brain will have the societal utility of a 17-year-old Margaritaville blender inherited from your grandparents.
Why Sociopaths with Knives Love Obsolete Humans
Right now, you’re shielded—barely—by the rule of law and the concept of human rights. These fragile constructs are the only things standing between you and a grim future as meat-based mulch for the oligarchic engine. The sociopaths holding the knives (looking at you, Elon “Free Speech Absolutist” Musk and Peter “Democracy is Overrated” Thiel) will happily discard you like a used K-Cup if it increases their quarterly profits by 0.01%.
Think about it: when humans become cheaper to replace than to retain, what motivation do the Leopards Eating Faces have to keep you around? The answer is none. Zero. Zilch. Human rights will be as meaningful as the warranty on a Blockbuster DVD rental.
They already think of you as a liability. You’re just a spreadsheet column labeled “cost center.” The moment AI can do your job—or your entire existence—better, these billionaires will treat you with the same sentimental affection they reserve for a flat tire on their third yacht. And you can bet their policy won’t be to repair the tire—it’ll be to replace the whole damn car. With a self-driving Tesla, of course. Then they’ll sell the scrap metal and write it off as a tax credit.
The Musical Chairs of Civilization
Imagine a game of musical chairs, except the music is Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries, the chairs are on fire, and everyone’s armed with knives. That’s the world we’re heading toward, and the sociopaths in power are already practicing their moves. The problem with this game is simple: there aren’t enough chairs for everyone.
You, dear reader, are not one of the knife-wielding players. You’re one of the schmucks standing in the circle, hoping someone—anyone—decides to protect the chairs. The only protection you have is the rule of law and the increasingly frayed notion that humans have inherent worth. Do you honestly think Musk, Bezos, or Trump believes that? These are people who think empathy is a glitch and ethics are a speed bump. When they’re done fighting over who gets the last flaming chair, they’ll laugh as they realize they don’t even need chairs anymore—because they’ve already built floating thrones out of AI and robot armies.
What Can You Do?
- Wake Up: Understand that your brain isn’t special anymore. Stop clinging to the comforting delusion that human cognition is irreplaceable. It’s not. The Leopards know this, and they’re sharpening their claws.
- Fight for the Rule of Law: Protect the fragile frameworks that keep sociopaths in check. Once human rights are gone, they’re not coming back. Leopards don’t hand over power voluntarily.
- Organize: Recognize that you’re expendable to the people in charge. Band together with others to demand accountability and safeguard the systems that might protect you—before they’re dismantled entirely.
In closing, remember this: Leopards don’t care if they eat your face. They’ll do it with a smile and call it “progress.” Your only hope is to stop them before they turn the whole world into a dystopian game of musical chairs where only they get to sit. And when the music stops, you’d better hope you’re not just another obsolete brain tossed onto the scrap heap.
Welcome to the future. It’s terrifying, and it doesn’t care about you.