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To everyone committing crimes for Trump? There now is a way out.

Posted on September 6, 2025September 6, 2025 by Khannea Sun'Tzu

To Everyone Committing Crimes for Trump: There Is Now a Way Out

Right now, Donald Trump has assembled what can only be described as a confederacy of the desperate: federal agents, military officers, tech billionaires, intelligence operatives, and assorted militia cosplayers—all bound together by loyalty oaths and the promise of shared power. You believed you were joining something historic, something that would reshape America in your image.

Here’s what you weren’t told: Trump’s organization operates on a simple principle—when the music stops, everyone but Trump is expendable.

You’re beginning to sense this now, aren’t you? The growing isolation. The increasingly unhinged directives. The dawning realization that you’re not the inner circle—you’re the outer perimeter, designed to absorb the blast when this thing detonates.

The Hard Truth About Your Situation

The AI revolution has made evidence gathering devastatingly precise. Every encrypted message, every financial transfer, every administrative decision you’ve made is being catalogued by systems that don’t forget, don’t sleep, and don’t accept presidential pardons as valid legal tender.

You are committing serious federal crimes. Not “borderline” activities or “aggressive interpretations” of policy—actual felonies that will survive any change of administration. The kind that international courts recognize. The kind that make you unemployable, radioactive, and legally toxic for decades.

Your Window Is Closing

The following prosecutors have reportedly indicated openness to proactive cooperation—meaning they’re interested in hearing from people who approach them before the indictments drop, not after:

The Trump Amnesty Directory

You go and have yourself a good lawyer and go have a talk with these people. The alternative might be spending a few years in a cell with cellmates who aren’t to fond of your life choices. Could get ugly!


State Attorneys General – Top Tier

Keith Ellison – Minnesota Attorney General

  • Jurisdiction: Statewide Minnesota
  • Contact: 445 Minnesota Street, Suite 600, St. Paul, MN 55101 | (651) 757-1200
  • Website: https://www.ag.state.mn.us/
  • Constitutional Credentials: Former co-chair of Congressional Progressive Caucus. First African American and first Muslim elected to statewide office in Minnesota. Minnesota Attorney General +2 Led prosecution of Derek Chauvin in George Floyd murder case. The Progressive
  • Anti-Trump Record: Filed multiple lawsuits against Trump administration policies. Actively challenging Trump’s current executive orders on federal worker rights, tariffs, and immigration. Committed to fighting “extreme executive overreach.”
  • Public Corruption Experience: Derek Chauvin prosecution, The Progressive corporate price gouging cases, consumer protection litigation against Big Oil and Big Tobacco.

Dana Nessel – Michigan Attorney General

  • Jurisdiction: Statewide Michigan
  • Contact: P.O. Box 30212, Lansing, MI 48909 | (517) 335-7622
  • Website: https://www.michigan.gov/ag
  • Constitutional Credentials: First openly LGBTQ+ person elected to statewide office in Michigan. Civil rights attorney who successfully argued precursor case to Obergefell v. Hodges. Wikipedia Created first state Hate Crimes and Domestic Terrorism Unit. Wikipedia
  • Anti-Trump Record: Withdrew Michigan from 8 federal lawsuits initiated by Republican predecessor. Wikipedia Actively opposes Trump administration policies on church-state separation, LGBTQ discrimination, environmental protection.
  • Public Corruption Experience: Charged 16 individuals for false elector scheme after 2020 election, Ballotpedia prosecuted Catholic Church sexual abuse cases, environmental protection enforcement.

Kwame Raoul – Illinois Attorney General

  • Jurisdiction: Statewide Illinois
  • Contact: 100 West Randolph Street, Chicago, IL 60601 | (312) 814-3000
  • Website: https://illinoisattorneygeneral.gov/
  • Constitutional Credentials: Co-sponsored Illinois ratification of Equal Rights Amendment, WikipediaACLU of Illinois sponsored Illinois Voting Rights Act. ACLU of IllinoisKwame Raoul Former prosecutor with progressive criminal justice reform agenda. National Association of Attorneys General
  • Anti-Trump Record: Co-chair of Democratic Attorneys General Association, elected by fellow AGs to guide joint opposition efforts through second Trump administration. Filed numerous lawsuits against Trump policies.
  • Public Corruption Experience: Consumer protection litigation, civil rights enforcement, voting rights protection, environmental litigation.

County Prosecutors – High Priority

John Choi – Ramsey County (Saint Paul) Attorney

  • Jurisdiction: Ramsey County, Minnesota (Saint Paul)
  • Contact: 50 West Kellogg Boulevard, Suite 315, Saint Paul, MN 55102 | (651) 266-3222
  • Website: https://www.ramseycounty.us/your-government/leadership/county-attorneys-office
  • Constitutional Credentials: First Korean-American elected county attorney in US. Reform-minded prosecutor focusing on restorative justice and reducing racial disparities. Wikipedia
  • Anti-Trump Record: Progressive Democrat, participates in Institute for Innovation in Prosecution, focuses on constitutional rights and police accountability. Wikipedia
  • Public Corruption Experience: Prosecuted officer Jeronimo Yanez in Philando Castile killing, Wikipedia human trafficking prosecutions, innovative youth justice programs. Wikipedia

Kym Worthy – Wayne County (Detroit) Prosecutor

  • Jurisdiction: Wayne County, Michigan (includes Detroit)
  • Contact: 5301 Russell Street, Suite 200, Detroit, MI 48211 | (313) 224-5777 waynecountymi
  • Website: https://www.waynecountymi.gov/Government/Elected-Officials/Prosecutor waynecountymi
  • Constitutional Credentials: First African American woman elected prosecutor in Michigan. Progressive approach to criminal justice with pioneer work in rape kit testing initiatives.
  • Anti-Trump Record: Democratic prosecutor with history of independence from political pressure, focuses on constitutional rights and fair prosecution.
  • Public Corruption Experience: Detroit Rape Kit Project, prosecuted numerous public corruption cases, police misconduct cases with 20+ year track record. Wikipedia

State Attorneys General – Litigation Powerhouses

Rob Bonta – California Attorney General

  • Jurisdiction: State of California
  • Contact: 1300 I Street, Sacramento, CA 95814-2919 | (916) 445-9555
  • Website: https://oag.ca.gov/
  • Constitutional Credentials: First Filipino-American to hold the office. ca Strong progressive track record including banning private prisons, ending cash bail initiatives, protecting immigrants. Robbontaca
  • Anti-Trump Record: Filed 100+ lawsuits against first Trump administration. Recently announced office preparations to defend against second Trump administration, stating “In California, progress will prevail.” CA
  • Public Corruption Experience: Extensive civil rights litigation, environmental protection cases, consumer protection enforcement, corporate accountability.

Phil Weiser – Colorado Attorney General

  • Jurisdiction: State of Colorado
  • Contact: 1300 Broadway, 10th Floor, Denver, CO 80203 | (720) 508-6000
  • Website: https://coag.gov/
  • Constitutional Credentials: Former Obama administration official and law professor. Strong advocate for antitrust enforcement and consumer protection.
  • Anti-Trump Record: Filed 20+ lawsuits against second Trump administration in just months. The Denver Post Successfully blocked Kroger-Albertsons merger. VailDaily Challenged birthright citizenship order, tariffs, and federal funding cuts. Axios
  • Public Corruption Experience: Major antitrust cases, opioid litigation, environmental protection, civil rights enforcement.

Kris Mayes – Arizona Attorney General

  • Jurisdiction: State of Arizona
  • Contact: 2005 N Central Ave, Phoenix, AZ 85004 | (602) 542-5025
  • Website: https://www.azag.gov/
  • Constitutional Credentials: First openly LGBTQ+ person elected Arizona AG. Wikipedia Strong consumer advocate and former journalist who covered political corruption. Defeated election denier in extremely close race (280 votes).
  • Anti-Trump Record: Investigated Trump’s threats against Liz Cheney. Wikipedia Investigating fake elector scheme. Strong defender of reproductive rights.
  • Public Corruption Experience: Election integrity investigations, consumer protection, reproductive rights defense, antitrust enforcement.

Nick Brown – Washington State Attorney General

  • Jurisdiction: State of Washington
  • Contact: 1125 Washington St SE, Olympia, WA 98504-0100 | (360) 753-6200 Wikipedia
  • Website: https://www.atg.wa.gov/
  • Constitutional Credentials: First Black person to serve as Washington AG. Crowell & Moring Former U.S. Attorney and Army veteran. Helped write opposition to Trump’s Muslim travel ban. Washington State Standard
  • Anti-Trump Record: Promised to defend “civil rights, abortion rights, environmental protections” against federal overreach. The Seattle Times Worked on opposition to first Trump administration policies.
  • Public Corruption Experience: As U.S. Attorney handled federal prosecutions. Committed to continuing aggressive legal challenges to unconstitutional federal actions.

Aaron Ford – Nevada Attorney General

  • Jurisdiction: State of Nevada
  • Contact: 100 North Carson Street, Carson City, NV 89701 | (775) 684-1100
  • Website: https://ag.nv.gov/
  • Constitutional Credentials: First African American to hold statewide constitutional office in Nevada. Nv +2 Former State Senate Majority Leader Wikipedia focusing on constitutional rights, criminal justice reform, consumer protection.
  • Anti-Trump Record: Strong advocate for civil rights and opposed discriminatory policies. Secured over $1 billion in opioid settlements. Wikipedianv
  • Public Corruption Experience: Civil rights enforcement, consumer protection ($118.5M recovered), human trafficking cases, sexual assault kit testing initiative. nv

Georgia – Leading Trump Prosecutions

Fani Willis – Fulton County District Attorney

  • Jurisdiction: Fulton County, Georgia (includes most of Atlanta)
  • Contact: 136 Pryor Street SW, Atlanta, GA 30303 | (404) 612-4800
  • Website: https://fultoncountyga.gov/districtattorney
  • Constitutional Credentials: First woman to serve as Fulton County DA. Fulton County Focus on criminal justice reform, transparency, and community engagement.
  • Anti-Trump Record: Leading RICO prosecution of Donald Trump for 2020 election interference. Initiated investigation within month of taking office against 18 co-defendants for attempting to overturn Georgia’s 2020 election results.
  • Public Corruption Experience: Atlanta Public Schools cheating scandal (used RICO statutes), Young Thug gang prosecution, election interference prosecution.

Virginia – Progressive Commonwealth’s Attorneys

Steve Descano – Fairfax County Commonwealth’s Attorney

  • Jurisdiction: Fairfax County and City of Fairfax, Virginia (1.2 million residents)
  • Contact: 4110 Chain Bridge Rd, Suite 114, Fairfax, VA 22030 | (703) 246-2776
  • Website: https://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/commonwealthattorney/
  • Constitutional Credentials: Former Obama administration federal prosecutor. Eliminated cash bail requests, implemented sentencing policy to address mass incarceration. Army veteran and West Point graduate.
  • Anti-Trump Record: Democrat who served in Obama Justice Department. Member of NAACP Criminal Justice Committee with progressive reform agenda.
  • Public Corruption Experience: Stopped requesting cash bail, restructured office for reform accountability, served on Police Civilian Review Panel.

Florida – Anti-Authoritarian Prosecutors

Monique Worrell – Orange County State Attorney

  • Jurisdiction: Orange and Osceola Counties (9th Judicial Circuit, includes Orlando)
  • Contact: (407) 836-2400 | Offices in Orlando and Kissimmee
  • Website: https://sao9.net/
  • Constitutional Credentials: Strong anti-authoritarian stance. Suspended by Governor DeSantis in 2023 for progressive reforms, re-elected with 60% of vote in 2024.
  • Anti-Trump/Anti-Authoritarian: Directly opposed DeSantis policies. Suspension was political retaliation for progressive prosecution. Vocal advocate for criminal justice reform.
  • Public Corruption Experience: Second Chance Program (alternatives to prosecution), Thriving Families, de-escalation training, juvenile literacy intervention.

Texas – Progressive Prosecutors in Conservative Territory

Urban County District Attorneys

José P. Garza – Travis County District Attorney (Austin)

  • Jurisdiction: Travis County, Texas (Austin metropolitan area)
  • Contact: 416 West 11th St., Austin, TX 78701 | (512) 854-9400
  • Website: https://districtattorney.traviscountytx.gov/
  • Constitutional Credentials: Member of Democratic Socialists of America. Wikipedia Former executive director of Workers Defense Project with University of Texas and Catholic University School of Law background. WikipediaWikipedia
  • Anti-Trump Record: Refuses to prosecute abortion laws under Texas statutes (targeted by Gov. Abbott). Ended prosecution of low-level drug offenses, Wikipedia eliminated cash bail system, promotes restorative justice. Wikipedia
  • Public Corruption Experience: Charged police officers with murder and aggravated assault for misconduct. Requested DOJ Civil Rights Division investigation into police response to 2020 protests. WikipediaWikipedia Gun violence prevention and survivor-centered prosecution.

Sean Teare – Harris County District Attorney (Houston)

  • Jurisdiction: Harris County, Texas (Houston metropolitan area – largest county in Texas)
  • Contact: 1201 Franklin, Suite 600, Houston, Texas 77002 | (713) 274-5800
  • Website: https://dao.harriscountytx.gov/
  • Constitutional Credentials: Defeated incumbent Kim Ogg in Democratic primary Houston Chronicle +3 with strong progressive support. Parents were civil rights activists who marched in the 1960s.
  • Anti-Trump Record: Promises to “lobby hard” against anti-abortion laws. Houston Landing Supports misdemeanor bail reform and ending cash bail system. Plans comprehensive diversion programs for non-violent drug offenders.
  • Public Corruption Experience: 11 years Harris County prosecutor experience. Houston Public MediaFOX 26 Houston Plans comprehensive domestic violence prosecution bureau with trauma-informed prosecutors. Houston Landing “Smart on crime” approach balancing empathy and efficiency.

John Creuzot – Dallas County District Attorney

  • Jurisdiction: Dallas County, Texas (Dallas metropolitan area)
  • Contact: 133 N. Riverfront Boulevard, LB 19, Dallas, TX 75207 | (214) 653-3600
  • Website: https://www.dallascounty.org/government/district-attorney/
  • Constitutional Credentials: Pioneered Dallas County’s first drug court in 1998 KERA NewsDallas County (68% reduction in re-arrests). National reputation for innovative drug courts and evidence-based sentencing. Dallas CountyLinkedIn
  • Anti-Trump Record: Took office on platform opposing “tough on crime” mass incarceration policies. Explicitly campaigns on ending mass incarceration in Dallas County. KeraKERA News
  • Public Corruption Experience: Declines prosecution of first-time marijuana possession, D Magazine won’t prosecute theft of personal items under $750, D Magazine implements bail reform favoring safety over wealth. D Magazine Led nation in exonerations through conviction integrity work.

Former Prosecutors Fired for Constitutional Independence

Preetinder “Preet” Bharara – Former U.S. Attorney SDNY

  • Current Position: Partner at WilmerHale law firm, CNN Senior Legal Analyst, NYU Distinguished Scholar
  • Contact: preet.bharara@wilmerhale.com | WilmerHale NYC: (212) 937-7000
  • Website: https://www.wilmerhale.com/professionals/preet-bharara/
  • Constitutional Credentials: Fired by Trump in March 2017 after refusing to resign and declining to take phone calls from Trump. Strong record of bipartisan prosecutions with total independence from political considerations.
  • Specific Independence Examples: Refused inappropriate presidential contact. Declined Trump’s phone calls after inauguration, considering them inappropriate interference. Considered recording Trump due to concerns about improper requests. Wikipedia +2
  • Public Corruption Experience: Prosecuted insider trading cases (Raj Rajaratnam), public corruption (Sheldon Silver, Dean Skelos), white-collar crime with complete independence from political considerations. NBC NewsNYU School of Law

Sally Quillian Yates – Former Acting Attorney General

  • Current Position: Partner at King & Spalding, Special Matters and Government Investigations
  • Contact: syates@kslaw.com | King & Spalding Atlanta: (404) 572-4600
  • Website: https://www.kslaw.com/people/sally-yates
  • Constitutional Credentials: Fired by Trump in January 2017 for refusing to defend his travel ban/Muslim ban executive order. 27 years prosecutorial experience with record of independence. CNN +2
  • Specific Independence Examples: Defied Trump’s travel ban. Ordered DOJ lawyers not to defend executive order, stating she was “not convinced that the defense of the executive order is consistent with these responsibilities.” Wikipedia Warned White House that Flynn could be blackmailed. AJC +2
  • Public Corruption Experience: Prosecuted Olympic Park bomber Eric Rudolph, Atlanta airport corruption, numerous public integrity cases, Olympic bribery investigations. AJC

Jack Smith – Former Special Counsel

  • Current Status: Resigned from DOJ, now being investigated by Trump administration Democracy DocketCNN
  • Constitutional Credentials: Appointed as independent Special Counsel to investigate Trump’s election interference and classified documents cases. Career prosecutor with bipartisan record and international war crimes experience. Encyclopedia Britannica
  • Specific Independence Examples: Led Trump prosecutions. Filed federal charges against Trump for election interference and classified documents retention. Wikipedia Maintained independence under pressure despite political attacks and threats.
  • Public Corruption Experience: Successfully prosecuted both Democrats and Republicans throughout career. NPR Led war crimes prosecutions at The Hague. Wikipedia Currently targeted for retaliation. The HillDemocracy Docket

William Tong – Connecticut Attorney General

  • Jurisdiction: State of Connecticut (3.6 million residents)
  • Contact: 165 Capitol Avenue, Hartford, CT 06106 | (860) 808-5318
  • Website: https://portal.ct.gov/ag
  • Constitutional Credentials: First Asian American elected statewide in Connecticut. Former state legislator with strong progressive voting record. WikipediaNational Association of Attorneys General
  • Anti-Trump Record: Self-described “firewall” against Trump policies. Successfully sued Trump administration on border wall, census citizenship question, postal service interference. Wikipedia Currently fighting Trump tariffs and immigration policies. Connecticut DMV
  • Public Corruption Experience: ExxonMobil climate deception lawsuit, opioid settlements, gun law defense, corporate accountability cases. National Association of Attorneys General

Matthew J. Platkin – New Jersey Attorney General

  • Jurisdiction: State of New Jersey (9.2 million residents)
  • Contact: 25 Market Street, Trenton, NJ 08625 | (609) 984-5828
  • Website: https://www.njoag.gov/
  • Constitutional Credentials: Former Chief Counsel to Gov. Murphy. New Jersey Government Created Reproductive Rights Strike Force, statewide firearms enforcement office. New Jersey Office of Attorney General
  • Anti-Trump Record: Challenged Trump policies while serving as Gov. Murphy’s counsel. Joined multistate lawsuits against Trump administration actions (2025). Wikipedia
  • Public Corruption Experience: George Norcross corruption indictment, Wikipedia gun violence reduction, anti-corruption initiatives, reproductive rights protection.

Kevin R. Hayden – Suffolk County (Boston) District Attorney

  • Jurisdiction: Suffolk County including Boston (800,000 residents)
  • Contact: One Bulfinch Place, Boston, MA 02114 | (617) 619-4000
  • Website: https://www.suffolkdistrictattorney.com/
  • Constitutional Credentials: Former Sex Offender Registry Board chair with focus on criminal justice reform and community-based crime prevention. Wikipedia +2
  • Anti-Trump Record: Opposed federal immigration enforcement in courthouses, defended sanctuary policies, challenged federal overreach.
  • Public Corruption Experience: Strengthened civil rights unit, hate crime prosecutions, reformed approach to low-level offenses. WikipediaMass.gov

Alvin L. Bragg Jr. – Manhattan District Attorney

  • Jurisdiction: All of Manhattan (1.6 million residents)
  • Contact: One Hogan Place, New York, NY 10013 | (212) 335-9000
  • Website: https://manhattanda.org/
  • Constitutional Credentials: First prosecutor in U.S. history to successfully prosecute a former president. Career federal prosecutor and former state deputy attorney general with strong civil rights background and reform-minded approach to criminal justice. Ballotpedia
  • Anti-Trump Record: Successfully prosecuted Trump on 34 felony counts in hush money case (May 2024). Ballotpedia Consistently defended prosecutions against federal intervention attempts and political attacks.
  • Public Corruption Experience: Gang violence prosecutions, X white-collar crime cases, police accountability initiatives, comprehensive reform programs.

Letitia James – New York State Attorney General

  • Jurisdiction: Entire State of New York (19.5 million residents)
  • Contact: The Capitol, Albany, NY 12224-0341 | 1-800-771-7755
  • Website: https://ag.ny.gov/
  • Constitutional Credentials: First African American woman elected NY AG. Former NYC Public Advocate with extensive civil rights attorney background. New York State Attorney GeneralPBS
  • Anti-Trump Record: Won $355+ million civil fraud judgment against Trump Organization. Filed numerous lawsuits against Trump policies. Currently under DOJ investigation by Trump administration for civil rights prosecutions, demonstrating independence. ABC News
  • Public Corruption Experience: Trump Organization fraud case, Wikipedia NRA corruption case, opioid manufacturer settlements ($3+ billion), reproductive rights protection. PBSBallotpedia

Larry Krasner – Philadelphia District Attorney

  • Jurisdiction: Philadelphia (1.6 million residents)
  • Contact: 3 South Penn Square, Philadelphia, PA 19107 | (215) 686-8000
  • Website: https://phillyda.org/
  • Constitutional Credentials: National progressive prosecutor leader with 30-year civil rights attorney background representing protesters and police misconduct victims. Wikipedia
  • Anti-Trump Record: Strong opponent of authoritarian policies. Publicly stated “F Around and Find Out” regarding threats to Philadelphia voting rights. Krasnerforda Sued to protect election integrity.
  • Public Corruption Experience: Prosecuted police misconduct, exonerated 50+ wrongfully convicted individuals, eliminated cash bail for many offenses, Wikipedia reduced incarceration by 50%. Krasnerforda

Note: This information is being published from the Netherlands, beyond the reach of US administrative pressure. These prosecutors cannot be ordered to ignore voluntary cooperation, and they understand that timing matters for both evidence quality and sentencing considerations.

What “Cooperation” Actually Means

This isn’t about becoming a “snitch”—it’s about becoming a witness instead of a defendant. It’s about trading your documentation, your communications, your firsthand knowledge of decision-making processes, for legal protection and a future where you don’t spend your golden years in federal prison.

The prosecutors understand something you’re just beginning to grasp: Trump’s operation is structurally criminal, systematically documented, and inherently betrayal-prone. They don’t need to flip everyone—just enough people to make the case ironclad. 

Remember that some of these crimes may trigger international arrest warrants. You might end up sitting in some cell in Kazachstan in a few years. 

The Mathematics Are Simple

Every day you wait, your colleagues get closer to the front of the line. Every day Trump’s behavior becomes more erratic, your exposure increases. Every day the evidence accumulates, your bargaining position weakens.

This window won’t stay open indefinitely.

Choose accordingly.

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1 thought on “To everyone committing crimes for Trump? There now is a way out.”

  1. Khannea Sun'Tzu says:
    September 6, 2025 at 13:14

    The White House Situation Room – 6:47 AM EST
    Stephen Miller bursts through the door, iPad clutched like a weapon, his perpetually constipated expression even more pinched than usual.
    “Sir, we have a problem. A big fucking problem.”
    Trump, still in his bathrobe, gold hair askew like an angry tumbleweed, looks up from his phone where he’s been rage-scrolling Truth Social mentions of himself.
    “What now? Did someone find more documents? Did that witch Letitia James file another—”
    “It’s worse.” Miller slides the iPad across the mahogany table. “Some blogger in the Netherlands just published a comprehensive directory of every anti-Trump prosecutor in America. Complete contact information. They’re calling it a ‘humanitarian guide for Trump operatives seeking legal protection.'”
    Trump’s face cycles through his entire emotional palette: confusion, rage, confusion again, then volcanic fury.
    “WHAT?! Who the hell is this Dutch psycho? I thought we had deals with Europe! I thought—”
    “Sir, it gets worse. The article is going viral. #TrumpOperativeExit is trending. Progressive Twitter is calling it ‘the most important public service document of 2025.'”
    Chief of Staff Susie Wiles, looking like she aged ten years in the past six months, enters with her own tablet and the expression of someone perpetually calculating exit strategies.
    “Mr. President, we’re getting calls. Confused calls. ICE supervisors asking about ‘cooperation protocols.’ Border Patrol agents googling local district attorneys. Someone in the Atlanta field office called Fani Willis’s office this morning asking about ‘hypothetical whistleblower protections.'”
    Trump stands so abruptly his Diet Coke explodes across the table.
    “SHUT IT DOWN! Call Musk! Call whoever runs the internet! This is—this is terrorism! Digital terrorism!”
    “Sir,” Wiles says carefully, “it’s hosted in the Netherlands. We can’t just—”
    “NUKE THE NETHERLANDS!”
    “Sir, they’re in NATO.”
    “THEN LEAVE NATO!”
    Miller, practically vibrating with nervous energy, pulls up more screenshots. “It’s spreading everywhere. Reddit, Bluesky, even fucking LinkedIn. People are calling it ‘the Trump Amnesty Directory.’ Some legal Twitter account said it’s ‘the most comprehensive guide to constitutional prosecutors ever compiled.'”
    Trump grabs his phone, starts typing furiously.
    “What are you doing, sir?” Wiles asks with the tone of someone watching a toddler reach for a loaded gun.
    “I’m Truth Social-ing this Dutch maniac into oblivion! I’m going to—”
    “Sir, with respect, every time you attack it, more people read it. The Streisand Effect. We’ve talked about this.”
    Trump freezes mid-type, his thumb hovering over the screen like Damocles’ sword.
    “Then what the hell do we do? My people are calling prosecutors! PROSECUTORS, Susie! The enemy! They’re supposed to be loyal! They’re supposed to—”
    “Sir,” Miller interrupts, “there’s more. The article includes a section called ‘Priority Recommendations for Public Corruption Cases.’ It lists specific prosecutors by expertise. Letitia James is number one for ‘proven track record against Trump.'”
    Trump’s face achieves a shade of red previously unknown to medical science.
    “GET ME PUTIN ON THE PHONE!”
    “Sir—”
    “I SAID GET ME PUTIN! This is—this is an act of war! Digital warfare! That Dutch blogger is obviously a CIA plant! Or—or a deep state operative! Or—”
    The door opens again. National Security Advisor enters, looking like he hasn’t slept since January 20th.
    “Mr. President, we’re monitoring chatter. There’s been an uptick in encrypted communications among federal law enforcement. SIGINT is picking up unusual patterns.”
    “WHAT KIND OF PATTERNS?”
    “People asking colleagues about… exit strategies, sir. Retirement planning. Some field agents are googling state bar associations.”
    Trump collapses into his chair like a deflated parade balloon.
    “This is it. This is how it ends. Not with impeachment, not with indictments, but with some smart-ass blogger in fucking Holland posting a phone book!”
    Wiles exchanges glances with Miller. Both are clearly calculating their own positions in this particular chess game.
    “Sir,” Wiles ventures, “maybe we should consider… damage control. Perhaps a measured response—”
    “MEASURED?! MEASURED?! They just published a FUCKING YELLOW PAGES FOR TRAITORS!”
    Trump stands again, begins pacing like a caged animal.
    “This blogger… what do we know about them? Background? Leverage? Can we—”
    “Sir,” Miller says quietly, “according to our research, they’re just… a blogger. Science fiction writer. Political analyst. Lives in Amsterdam. EU citizen protections. First Amendment applies even to foreign nationals publishing political commentary.”
    “Then we leak their address! We dox them! We—”
    “Sir, that would be an international incident. And probably illegal. And definitely stupid.”
    Trump stops pacing, stares out the window at the South Lawn, where protesters have been camped for weeks.
    “Thirty years,” he mutters. “Thirty years I’ve been untouchable. Bankruptcies, scandals, lawsuits, even two impeachments… and I’m brought down by some Dutch nerd with a Substack.”
    The room falls silent except for the ticking of the grandfather clock and the distant sound of protests outside.
    Miller clears his throat. “Sir? Your 9 AM is here. The loyalty test interviews for the DOJ replacement candidates?”
    Trump turns back to the room, his expression shifting to something resembling sanity, though his left eye continues to twitch.
    “Cancel it. Cancel everything. Get me a lawyer. A good one. One who’s not on that fucking list.”
    He pauses at the door.
    “And find out if we can buy the Netherlands.”

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Hi there. I am khannea – transhumanist, outspoken transgender, libertine and technoprogressive. You may email me at khannea.suntzu@gmail.com.

 

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