Recently scientists have observed the actual and precise moment of conception, i.e. the very moment a sperm cell encounters an egg cell, enters it and starts the developmental stage where eventually a human being will form. We have long waited on science to give us confirmation and clarity on this particularly troubling question and now we have an unambiguous answer – the specific zinc chemical reaction is an indicator that a celestial force descends in to the egg and becomes at that particular moment an actual “soul”. Many, including myself, have long doubted the veracity of this often expressed hypothesis – that humans have souls that are ignited or realized upon conception (and not at birth) are manifested entities of some sort of conscious awareness. That means that there is an energy or life-giving force imbued inside human bodies, almost certainly centered in the center of mass of the body.
This has grave implications on how we should regard human life and how we must conduct our lives. Long has sciences led us from a devout spiritual existence, but we have now come full circle – Scientific observations have confirmed our long treasured religious values and belief in a higher divinity in the world. For many these self-evident religious urges have come naturally, almost instinctively all through our lives, but in the light of scientific reason we were often seduced in to thinking our treasured beliefs to be mere superstitions. Now we know we absolute certainty this is not the case and this certainty must translate in appropriate religious behavior. To not observe proper moral and ethical conduct in observance to divinity is now a grave sin.
Long have we hesitated, spurred on by this temporary atheist distraction offered by science, to procrastinate. But we have seen the results of the scientific excuses. We just have to look on the heroic victory of the Gods Xbalanque and Hunahpu over the underworld. It should shame us deeply that we fail to attribute proper respect this monumental sacrifice. It is no mean feat, even for a God, to be victorious over the underworld, and anyone with a shred of faith knows that we should be doing what’s right.
The right thing of course being human sacrifice. In science we found excuses to postpone on this duty – we though human sacrifice was a pointless endeavour, and a cruel one, since it was perceived in a barren scientific context to be devoid of meaning. But now we know that the soul descends in the body at the moment of conception and we must realize that in order to be moral beings we must follow the edicts of our faith and take our least worthy and sacrifice them in honors of the achievements of Xbalanque and Hunahpu.
Having neglected these duties all these decades is a great shame to me, and no doubt to any of my readers. The proper conduct is now to find proper sacrificial subjects – I am think of unemployed immigrants, people of color, criminals, sexual deviants, older widows or geriatric people in general or people with mental diseases that are unable to hold a job (I will have a job painting people blue). No doubt many of these people will volunteer for the honor, but if no one steps forward we must find the most suitable candidates. The proper sacrificial methodology is, as every child has learned at religious classes as well as in sermons at a young age in the Popol Vuh story – decapacitation.
During the Postclassic period (c. 900–1524) the most common form of human sacrifice was heart extraction, influenced by the method used by the Aztecs in the Valley of Mexico;[1] this usually took place in the courtyard of a temple, or upon the summit of the pyramid-temple.[6] The sacrifice was stripped and painted blue, which was the colour representing sacrifice, and was made to wear a peaked headdress. Four blue-painted attendants representing the four Chaacs of the cardinal directions stretched the sacrifice out over a convex stone that pushed the victim’s chest upwards;[7] An official referred to as a nacom in Landa’s Relación de las cosas de Yucatán used a sacrificial knife made from flint to cut into the ribs just below the victim’s left breast and pull out the still-beating heart.[8] The nacom then passed the heart to the officiating priest, or chilan, who smeared blood upon the image of the temple’s deity. Depending upon the exact ritual, sometimes the four Chaacs would throw the corpse down the pyramid steps to the courtyard below where it would be skinned by assistant priests, except for the hands and feet. The chilan would then remove his ritual attire and dress himself in the skin of the sacrificial victim before performing a ritual dance that symbolised the rebirth of life. If it was a notably courageous warrior who had been sacrificed then the corpse would be cut into portions, and parts would be eaten by attending warriors and other bystanders. The hands and feet were given to the chilan who, if they had belonged to a war captive, wore the bones as a trophy.[6] Archaeological investigations indicate that heart sacrifice was practiced as early as the Classic period.[9]
But our responsibilities don’t end there. We must also find suitable sacrifices to make the sun rise every day. Can you imagine how bad it would be if the sun wouldn’t rise? Awful, just awful. One look at the mess the world already is in, (just consider, we may end up with a Trump presidency, hellooo) and we understand instantaneously what to do. Isn’t it obvious? We must find victims, preferably enemy soldiers (I am thinking of captured ISIS fighters here, as are most of my readers no doubt) and we must paint them blue, take them bound up the steps of a giant pyramid, lift them over a stone altar, rip their still beating heart from their chest with a flint dagger, throw their still conscious corpse down the steps of the pyramid and then flay their skin from their broken husk and wear the skins. I refer you to wikipedia, I mean, isn’t it obvious. Everyone knows this instinctively. Come on, gimme a break.
Many tasks await us. Science has finally come full circle, as does the sacred cycle of precession (I mean, the signs are abundantly clear everywhere, if you just care to look, right?) and as we know know that souls inhabit the moment of conception we should automatically realize that as a society, in order to maintain a sustainable societal conformity, a proper terror in the masses conducive to docility and hard labour, as well as the proper fear in our geopolitical competitors that we must take their bodies, paint them blue, bind them to a post and fill their hearts with arrows in the proper manner described in catechism of Kaqchikel. Or we must throw virgins (a great way to get rid of the ugly ones) in a sacred Chenote. Or we must burn, stab, crush under stones, flay alive, cannibalistically devour people. I don’t need to explain the reader – humanity has done this over and over, for millenia. Clearly these things are normal, and we should finally start honoring what comes normal for human beings. If we do not finally start honoring the gods, we risk their anger. And the gods have been very patient with us so far.
Right?